if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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