If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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