How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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