I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
