i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize