By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
