remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
