WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
