my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
