He is such a slut. More and more my type.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize