What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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