so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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