just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
