The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
