he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
