she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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