is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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