you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My vagina just recognized that song.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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