Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize