I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
