So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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