and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
