just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
