i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
