im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
