they need to just BURY HIM!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
