Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
