So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
