If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
