Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
