I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sober January is a disaster.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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