This is not my ceiling
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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