Plan B is the new Plan A
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
