Welp...herpes.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize