there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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