Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
