my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
