I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
