you guys were way drunker than both of me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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