who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
