Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
