**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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