My room smells like vodka and shame
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i dont even know how to be here
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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