Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
