I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Can I color on your dick again?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
