If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
