...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You left your underwear on the fireplace
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
