I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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