so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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