I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
