I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
