I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
