I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
