Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
