in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
