So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize