if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just gift wrapped bread.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
