he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
